Rules for Male

Written by Female

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1. The Female always makes The Rules.

2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3. No Male can possibly know all The Rules.

4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules.

5. The Female is never wrong.
6. If the FEMALE is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the MALE did or said wrong.

7. (If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding. )

8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.

9. The Male must never change his mind without express written consent from the Female.

10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female Wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The Male is expected to mind read at all times.

14. The Male who doesn't abide by The Rules, can't take the heat, lacks a backbone, and is a wimp.

15. Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.

16. At no time can the Male make such comments as "Insignificant" and " Is that all?" when the Female is complaining.

17. If the Female has PMS, all The Rules are null and void!



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Important Laws

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Law of queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

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Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.

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Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

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Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

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Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

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Bath THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

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LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

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LAW of the RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!

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LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

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THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

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LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

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