Give him another Chance...

80,000 Pathans meet in the Peshawar Stadium for a "Pathans Are Not Stupid" Convention.
The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that Pathans are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"
A Pathan works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks him, "What is 15 plus 15?"
After 15 or 20 seconds he says, "Eighteen!" Obviously everyone is a little disappointed.

Then 80,000 PAthans start cheering,
"Give him another chance! Give him another chance!"
The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give him another chance."
So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?"
After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, "Ninety?"
The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened - the Pathan starts crying and the 80,000 men begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"
The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance-- What is 2 plus 2?"
The man closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?"
Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 pathans jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream...
"GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

Bush & Kalam

While visiting India, George Bush is invited to tea with Abdul Kalam. He
Asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is. He says that, it is to
Surround him with intelligent people.

Bush asks how he knows if they're intelligent. "I do so by asking them the
right questions," says the Kalam. "Allow me to demonstrate."

Bush watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says, "Mr. Prime Minister,
please answer this question:

Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not
your brother or sister. Who is it?"


- Manmohan immediately responds, "It's me, Sir!"

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says Kalam.

He hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"

Bush nods: "Yes Mr. President. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put Condoleezza Rice
to the test.

Bush summons her to the White House and says, "Condoleezza, I wonder if you
can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"

Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has
a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Rice was puzzled and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to
you?" Bush agrees, and Rice leaves.

Rice immediately calls a meeting of senior senators, and they puzzle over
the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer.

Finally, in desperation, Rice calls Colin Powell and explains the problem.

"Mr. Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this
child is not your brother or your sister.

Who is it?"

Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."

Much relieved Rice rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and
exclaims,
"I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's our Colin Powell !"

And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, it's Manmohan Singh!"

How to stop unwatned calls...

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1 After the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask him/her to marry you.

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2 Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her, if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back.

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3 Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

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4 Tell them it is dinnertime, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

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5 Tell them that all business goes through your agent, and hand the phone to your five year old child.

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6 Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up.... louder... louder... louder!

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7 If they start out with, "How are you today?", say "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems............."

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8 Tell them to speak very slowly because you want to write every word down.

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9 Cry out in surprise, "Helen, is that you? I've been hoping you'd call! How is the family?" When they insist they are not Helen, tell them to stop joking. This works especially well if the telemarketer is really MALE.

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10 Tell the ICICI call centre guy to call on your office number - and give him the HSBC call centre number.

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Leave Letters

This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India ...

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1. Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.

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2. This is from Oracle Bangalore:
From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

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3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

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4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."

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5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

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6. An incident of a leave letter
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."

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7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

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8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

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9. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."

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10. Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."

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11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

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12. Letter writing: -
"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."

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13. A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'...As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.

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