Confusing English language

Some of CONFUSING ENGLISH make me headache, would u help me?

1. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

5. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

6. Why the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

8. Why is it called building when it is already built?

9. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

10. If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?

11. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

12. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?? Human ??

13. If working hours are meant for working, then why are you reading this??

Bang ur head on the wall if u dont know the answer

Recently a company had participated in IIM's Placement Sessions. They asked some interesting questions to students during recruitment.

Here are some of them:-
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1. There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly. What is it?
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2. A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents. What time is it?
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3. A boat has a ladder that has six rungs, each rung is one foot apart. The bottom rung is one foot from the water.
The tide rises at 12 inches every 15minutes. High tide peaks in one hour. When the tide is at it's highest, how many rungs are under water?
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4. There is a house with four walls. Each wall faces south. There is a window in each wall. A bear walks by one of the windows. What color is the bear?
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5. Is half of two plus two equal to two or three?
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6. There is a room. The shutters are blowing in. There is broken glass on the floor. There is water on the floor. You find Sloppy dead on the floor. Who is Sloppy? How did Sloppy die?
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7. How much dirt would be in a hole 6 feet deep and 6 feet wide that has been dug with a square edged shovel?
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8. If I were in Hawaii and dropped a bowling ball in a bucket of water which is 45 degrees F, and dropped another ball of the same weight, mass, and size in a bucket at 30 degrees F, both of them at the same time, which ball would hit the bottom of the bucket first?
Same question, but the location is in Canada ?
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9. What is the significance of the following: The year is 1978, thirty-four minutes past noon on May 6th.
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10. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in the center field?
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11. What is it that goes up and goes down but does not move?
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The answers are...
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1. The word "incorrectly. "
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2. 1:45. The man gave away a total of 25 cents. He divided it between two people. Therefore, he gave a quarter to two.
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3. None, the boat rises with the tide. Googly ;-)
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4. White. If all the walls face south, the house is at the North pole, and the bear, therefore, is a polar bear.
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5. Three. Well, it seems that it could almost be either, but if you follow the mathematical orders of operation, division is performed before addition.
So... half of two is one. Then add two, and the answer is three.
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6. Sloppy is a (gold)fish. The wind blew the shutters in, which knocked his goldfish-bowl off the table, and it broke, killing him.
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7. None. No matter how big a hole is, it's still a hole: the absence of dirt.
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8. Both questions, same answer: the ball in the bucket of 45 degree F water hits the bottom of the bucket last. Did you think that the water in the 30 degree F bucket is frozen? Think again.
The question said nothing about that bucket having anything in it. Therefore, there is no water (or ice) to slow the ball down...
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9. The time and month/date/year American style calendar are 12:34, 5/6/78.
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10. One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.
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11. The temperature.
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Creative designs, great ideas

Cigarettea

Tea bags and pack look like cigarettes. Some fun for you and youre frends. See? - you take a cigarette and drop to hot water cup - and you got tea, because its tea in cigarette (not tobacco). Filter work like float. And there is a common concept for tea and cigarettes is a break to communicate

The Ultimate Bic

Sometimes we need to annotate some telephone number, some name, the supermarket list, and dont find any paper closer. This pen have a little paper roll inside, to resolve this problem.

The shining cuckoo clock

Every hour Jack breask through the door and the famous line " Here's Jhonny"plays followed by the scream of Shelly Duwal

Sand + Time watch

Sand+Time Watch is a project that unites modern technologies and old ways of measuring time. Sand+Time offers its wearer the time in modern electronic hours, but the form of the interface has also been borrowed from an old sand hourglass. The watch functions in two modes. The first, the screensaver, takes the form of a sand hourglass counting a certain time unit set by the user to their preference. (The default setting for the hourglass is to count one minute.) The second mode displays the time in numbers ?? the most common electronic interface for the modern person.

Chocolate Keyboard

so, it's just chocolate keyboard :)

A fresh approach to bringing light to our lives.

8AM is a task lamp constructed simply of braided electric wire.
The flexible wire, once passed through an aluminum clamp, undergoes a ???change of state,??? elegantly transforming into the structural body of the lamp itself. Following the simple construction method, the 8AM task lamp is also powered on/off in an elegant manner.
By touching the aluminum clamp, the user is able to trigger the ever-increasing levels of light output. This simple system consisting of a wire and a clamp, can take on various forms to fill the home, office, or lobby with a pleasant wash of light.
Released as a concept at Salone del Mobile 2007, 8AM has received much attention and garnered rave reviews from the public and professional lighting industry. In addition to the task lamp built, 8AM is illustrated in three other configurations ??? a chandelier, a wall sconce, and a floor lamp.

Rocking Slippers

A hybrid clothing and furniture product that creates a personal and particular space. This project developed under the title of "body extension" and the notion of the extension of the wearable till it gets almost to the territory of independent product. On the one hand, I wanted to explore the ability of our bodies to function differently with this extension, and on the other I wanted to understand privacy within furniture.

Killing Time

Hack a retro gaming light gun with tilt switches to control a vintage digital clock radio.
When the alarm wakes you up, grab the gun and kill it off!

Roller Toaster

2006 Red Dot Award-winning design not only toasts bread, but it also allows the user to watch the slice magically transform before their eyes??from cold and squishy to hot 'n crispy! Roller toaster's compact footprint is exceptionally smaller than conventional toasters and its form (a lot like the classic power strip!) is modern, clean-lined, and adaptable to any environment.

Extreme Budget Cuts

EFFECTIVE OCTOBER 1, 2008 NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work .

Personal Days

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin boa rd under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break: (Love this one)

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

For
The Management